So here I am about to turn 46 and an ugly realization. I have no friends. Seriously no friends, no one I can call up and say "omg my 4 yo is driving me batties lets go get coffee and walk around somewhere till the day passes".
I have plenty of aquaintiences, people who I know superficially and usualy call me when they want something. How do I know this. I cleaned my Facebook friends down and not a one noticed. Ok so yeah that hurt but did not surprise me. But what hurts is when they send me pics of them going on a road trip saying oh you would of loved it but obviously I wasn't invited. So yay you win passive aggresive award there. Please do me a favor don't rub it in my face that you are doing things that you know I would love to do but do not want to do with me. Cause honestly I would not do that to you.
If I am a friend to someone I pretty much give that person the best of me. I remember birthdays, anniversary, graduations, kids birthdays, etc... If you are going through tough times I will call and check on you, give you a shoulder to cry on. Yet I have never recieved that back.
I some days think I must be a horrible person cause I do not have friends. I find myself drawing back into myself further as a result. I am afraid to trust people now. Why extend a branch of friendship when all they want is for me to do something for them and then they go away.
I know what changed. 5 yrs ago I had grown children and free time. Then I was given the gift of miss thing. I was not expecting to be a parent again. I was not expecting that I would be a parent to my granddaughter. But there she was, not wanted by her parents and bio dad would not sign over his rights. So we became parents again. I gave up a career for her. I gave up a middle age that had been planned to be just me and my husband. Do not regret it for a minute or a second. But I guess it also cost me friends.
Suddenly no one wanted to do things with us. No one thought that maybe I might need a shoulder to cry or laugh on. No wanted to hang out with me. Nope I was a parent woth a small child and suddenly that made me undesirable as a friend. Don't understand that, probably never will. Honestly moms make excellent friends. We appreciate things so much like your bad day at work is refreshing to us after we have just chased a naked toddler down the stairs trying to get them dressed so we can go out shopping. I would love to have an adult conversation that did not include the lyrics to Frozen. I would love to go shopping with someone who could honestly tell me if those pants looked good (a 4 year old is not going to be honest with you).
Maybe someday I will find another good friend to hang with. Or maybe not.
Monday, June 2, 2014
Friendless at 46?
Monday, October 21, 2013
Friendships can die?
So we all make friends. We do. All of us,we all make friends. And most of the time we think that they are going to last forever.
In grade school many of us had that friend we went through every grade with. We hung out during the summer with and shared our weird childhood crushes with. Then in middle school it changes and suddenly you aren't with that friend but you make others.
But honestly that is just a warm up to the perils and joys of friendship as an adult. When we are kids our fears and worries are not nearly as frightening and life altering as an adults. And trust me sometimes you need a friend, you need that person who you caan lean on for a little while and they will bring you chocolate and say it's okay.
But in the adult world friendships can die. They die and fade away and you are left mourning a special closeness that you had that is suddenly gone. Sometimes its a sudden death and other times its a slow progressive leaving and one day you wake up and that person is missing.
I watched and am still mourning the deaths of several friendships, that honestly I have to say make me question whether or not I am even worth being liked. I had a lot of friends up till 4 years ago. Huge life changes came to my life, I mean huge change everything type. As my husband retired from the Airforce the economy tanked and I was forced to abandon plans to go to graduate school in order to get a job to support us. My eldest daughter became pregnant and the bio dad would not relinquish rights and neither one wanted to take care of the child so my husband and I became parents again in our 40's. One by one friends just drifted away or stopped talking to us all together. One person told me that since I had a young child and she hates kids there was no way she could see us being friends again. Others didn't care to talk or whatever it's like suddenly I wasn't good enough for them. I wasn't worth calling and saying hi to. I wasn't worth going shopping with on a Saturday. I wasn't of use anymore.
So here I am, alone and my only friends are with people I know electronically througn a weight loss support app. I know what they look like, I know their names but really its not the same as a flesh and blood friend. I don't go to movie unless it's either with my husband or adult son, or occasionally by myself. I haven't done what is known as a girls night or weekend in years. Honestly anymore I have to wonder if it is even worth the pain of trying to make new friends, cause I'm , sure with my track record that the chances are small.
Like I said I am still mourning for what I used to have,not sure how to move forwards.
Tuesday, June 12, 2012
Summer what summer?
Ok so the calendar says it is the middle of June. However the weather outside would argue otherwise. Its wet! Yup rain for the past two days. I would not mind the rain so much if it was marginaly warm. It is not warm. We did not make it out of the fourties today. So stay inside you say. Well yeah that works when you don't have a toddler to contend with.
A three year old denined the outlet of running amuck through the yard will then take that out on you. They will whine. They will pout. They will make demands of you for everything. They hate that they can't get out as much as you.
For my little one there is the added joy of mosquito bites. When they bite her she looks like she has been stung by a bee. And we are in the need for a bandaid for every boo boo. Two boxes of Dora bandaids later, and I hope that they are all covered.
Saturday, May 26, 2012
What to do with kids in the summer?
You know summer vacation should come with instructions for what to do with children during those months. Cause otherwise moms tend to go a little insane. Let me tell you it doesn't really matter what age the child is be they three years old or twenty three its still the same.
"I AM BORED" How those words can come out of their mouths at ten in the morning is beyond me. Seriously do they think that I live to entertain them every minute during the day.
Granted my adult son has the glory and power of the Xbox to keep him entertained for hours even days on end. Its my lovely little three year old, she has know decided that by ten in the morning she is bored.
She wants to play outside in the backyard, yeah says I but noooooo she doesn't want to play by herself she wants company. She doesn't actually want to play with you she wants you to sit and just be there. Telling her that mommy needs to do the dishes doesn't work cause them she just goes after the Boy.
The Boy by the way has taken to hiding just to have a moment, a nano second to himself before she finds him again. She will happily bang on his door to get his attention.
Lest you think I don't give her things to play with she has a room full of toys, I set up paints for her to use outside on the deck, she has balls and other toys scattered all over the backyard and more. She enjoys walking over to you while you read the morning paper and pulling it down pushes a cup in your face and screeches "milk" in that high pitched little girl squeal. I thought my brain was going to short circuit the other morning when she did that ten times in a row.
Some days she is content to watch some tv and play quietly but the summer in Alaska, read the sun is up at 4:30 am and sets at 11:30 pm, seems to get into their system and its go go go. I just want to watch the Today show and have some coffee, really that's all I ask in the morning.
I cannot wait until she is old enough to get into dance lessons or swimming or anything that will keep her very very active mind engaged. I love her to pieces but honestly if my first child had been like her I don't think there would have been anymore.
"I AM BORED" How those words can come out of their mouths at ten in the morning is beyond me. Seriously do they think that I live to entertain them every minute during the day.
Granted my adult son has the glory and power of the Xbox to keep him entertained for hours even days on end. Its my lovely little three year old, she has know decided that by ten in the morning she is bored.
She wants to play outside in the backyard, yeah says I but noooooo she doesn't want to play by herself she wants company. She doesn't actually want to play with you she wants you to sit and just be there. Telling her that mommy needs to do the dishes doesn't work cause them she just goes after the Boy.
The Boy by the way has taken to hiding just to have a moment, a nano second to himself before she finds him again. She will happily bang on his door to get his attention.
Lest you think I don't give her things to play with she has a room full of toys, I set up paints for her to use outside on the deck, she has balls and other toys scattered all over the backyard and more. She enjoys walking over to you while you read the morning paper and pulling it down pushes a cup in your face and screeches "milk" in that high pitched little girl squeal. I thought my brain was going to short circuit the other morning when she did that ten times in a row.
Some days she is content to watch some tv and play quietly but the summer in Alaska, read the sun is up at 4:30 am and sets at 11:30 pm, seems to get into their system and its go go go. I just want to watch the Today show and have some coffee, really that's all I ask in the morning.
I cannot wait until she is old enough to get into dance lessons or swimming or anything that will keep her very very active mind engaged. I love her to pieces but honestly if my first child had been like her I don't think there would have been anymore.
Tuesday, May 15, 2012
Not so much fun under the midnight sun
So summer, or what passes for summer, has arrived up here in the great last frontier. The sun is doing its sunny thing of not really ever setting. As of today sunrise was about 5 in the morning and sunset is about eleven pm. So there is ample daylight to get things done during the daylight.
Now my house backs up to a wooded park and in the middle of that park in a basketball court. Don't get me wrong here I have nothing against basketball. I have a thing against basketball being played at two am in the morning when most respectable people are asleep. See even when the sun sets it never really gets totally dark around here. Sort of like a twilight for those few hours before the sun comes back up over the horizon. So its really light enough to do things. And it appears that playing basketball at two am is the highlight of someones life.
Now there is a sign that hangs directly under the hoop that says that the parks hours are from six am till 11 pm, after that people is quiet hours. Anchorage does have a supposed curfew for the under eighteen crowd but are not to gung ho on enforcement. So there we are trying to sleep and what do we hear; the sound of a ball being dribbled and then shot at a metal backboard and the resounding sound it makes when it hits the board instead of just getting net. It will wake you out of a dead sleep and make you crankier then anything. Just ask the person I let sleep next to me.
Personally I would love to have some way that I could target just that ball and make it deflate and then the said insomniac would go home and watch tv. i am sure that this person has insomnia as they are there almost every night during the summer.
Ordinarily I would not mind musicians playing in the park but the two new ones are trying my patience and my ear drums. One musician is learning the bagpipes; which when first being played sounds like cats being strangled in a bag full of water. The other is learning to play middle eastern drums. So why they are practicing together I don't know, but let me tell you at seven in the morning that is not what you want to hear. It was discordant at best and the perfect instrument for torture at its worse. I thought my ears were going to bleed this morning from the sound. I closed the windows and doors but alas to no avail that dreaded sound permeated through the walls.
The two players were sitting together just doing their thing while dogs all over the place were howling in pain. They sat there for four hours playing. I kept waiting for them to get better, they didn't.
In two more weeks the hellions that live in Anchorage will be released from the schools for their summer break and that means that we will be besieged by yelling and screeching teenagers in the park at all hours. Trust me we have called the cops on particularly bad groups but my questions is; parents why don't you know that your teen isn't at home? I am not talking about eighteen year olds running rampant they generally have much cooler things to do then yell and play tag at one in the morning. Theses are the thirteen to seventeen range. And man are they loud, and obnoxious and freaking huge litterbugs. Parents please teach them better manners, though I am sure that when they are home they have the manners. Maybe its the midnight sun that drives them insane cause I hate having to go on trash patrol behind my fence, because I am pretty sure its not the moose that are drinking Monster energy drinks or bears eating Pringles ( well actually the bear would but he wouldn't leave the can behind, he would eat everything).
The only thing that makes it more bearable is the fact that the mosquitoes are thick and heavy in that park and all those bodies are just the smorgasbord of food that they have been waiting for. And of course there are bears that live in the area. I am sure that the first time they meet the bear they won't be coming back to the park for awhile. I am not terribly excited when he wanders in my front yard.
While it is the land of the midnight sun, just remember some of us do attempt to sleep, you can tell these houses from either the heavy drapes or the tinfoil on the windows. When you happen upon them be polite and let them sleep. They probably need it.
Atypical life in AK.
Now my house backs up to a wooded park and in the middle of that park in a basketball court. Don't get me wrong here I have nothing against basketball. I have a thing against basketball being played at two am in the morning when most respectable people are asleep. See even when the sun sets it never really gets totally dark around here. Sort of like a twilight for those few hours before the sun comes back up over the horizon. So its really light enough to do things. And it appears that playing basketball at two am is the highlight of someones life.
Now there is a sign that hangs directly under the hoop that says that the parks hours are from six am till 11 pm, after that people is quiet hours. Anchorage does have a supposed curfew for the under eighteen crowd but are not to gung ho on enforcement. So there we are trying to sleep and what do we hear; the sound of a ball being dribbled and then shot at a metal backboard and the resounding sound it makes when it hits the board instead of just getting net. It will wake you out of a dead sleep and make you crankier then anything. Just ask the person I let sleep next to me.
Personally I would love to have some way that I could target just that ball and make it deflate and then the said insomniac would go home and watch tv. i am sure that this person has insomnia as they are there almost every night during the summer.
Ordinarily I would not mind musicians playing in the park but the two new ones are trying my patience and my ear drums. One musician is learning the bagpipes; which when first being played sounds like cats being strangled in a bag full of water. The other is learning to play middle eastern drums. So why they are practicing together I don't know, but let me tell you at seven in the morning that is not what you want to hear. It was discordant at best and the perfect instrument for torture at its worse. I thought my ears were going to bleed this morning from the sound. I closed the windows and doors but alas to no avail that dreaded sound permeated through the walls.
The two players were sitting together just doing their thing while dogs all over the place were howling in pain. They sat there for four hours playing. I kept waiting for them to get better, they didn't.
In two more weeks the hellions that live in Anchorage will be released from the schools for their summer break and that means that we will be besieged by yelling and screeching teenagers in the park at all hours. Trust me we have called the cops on particularly bad groups but my questions is; parents why don't you know that your teen isn't at home? I am not talking about eighteen year olds running rampant they generally have much cooler things to do then yell and play tag at one in the morning. Theses are the thirteen to seventeen range. And man are they loud, and obnoxious and freaking huge litterbugs. Parents please teach them better manners, though I am sure that when they are home they have the manners. Maybe its the midnight sun that drives them insane cause I hate having to go on trash patrol behind my fence, because I am pretty sure its not the moose that are drinking Monster energy drinks or bears eating Pringles ( well actually the bear would but he wouldn't leave the can behind, he would eat everything).
The only thing that makes it more bearable is the fact that the mosquitoes are thick and heavy in that park and all those bodies are just the smorgasbord of food that they have been waiting for. And of course there are bears that live in the area. I am sure that the first time they meet the bear they won't be coming back to the park for awhile. I am not terribly excited when he wanders in my front yard.
While it is the land of the midnight sun, just remember some of us do attempt to sleep, you can tell these houses from either the heavy drapes or the tinfoil on the windows. When you happen upon them be polite and let them sleep. They probably need it.
Atypical life in AK.
Monday, April 30, 2012
Why eating omelets on a trip is bad.
I love to travel. That is a simple statement but I do, I love traveling and seeing other parts of the world. I like visiting new places but there is something that lurks in every single trip that I have ever taken. Something that is such a potent omen that I have been forbidden from ordering it ever again when I travel.
Omelets are the eggy omen of doom on many of my trips. Lets get this straight before the egg industry comes after me, I love eggs particularly when they are scrambled up into a concoction known in the US as a Denver omelet; think cheese, ham, onions, peppers, with salt, pepper, and garlic as the seasonings. I swoon when I get to eat a truly well cooked version of theses. But I digress. Omelets can, depending upon how they come to my table give clues to how that days adventure will turn out.
Yes I know that you think that I have gone off the deep end but really its true, no really this has happened multiple times.
The first time that it became noticed was when we were driving from Anchorage Alaska to San Antonio Texas, the Air Force having a sense of humor and all, it was August and the hottest time of the year to do this. In the Jeep Grand Wagoneer that looked like it had seen better days(cause it had) was me, my hubby, and our 6 month old twins plus the dog and the cat. Yeah that already had the earmarks of a trip to hell written all over it.
We had made it to Destruction Bay in Canada and stopped for the night. In the morning I ordered an omelet for breakfast. No problem the food was hot and served quickly, great wait staff. However the inside of my omelet was runny. I don't like runny eggs in anyway shape or form. Nope. So I ate the omelet cause one, I am polite and don't send food back unless a cook really screws it up and two, I was very hungry. Then no more than two hours out on the road we hit this lovely little stretch of road. The government of Canada had thoughtfully put up a sign stating they were doing road construction for the next 50 miles on the road leading to Haines Alaska (no seriously to get to parts of Alaska you have to first drive through a part of Canada). What the sign should have said is there is no road and you need to follow the orange markers that we have left for you to find like a treasure hunt. The so called road was filled with not just rocks but rocks the size of small boulders, there were holes that could have swallowed smaller cars. It was the type of road that you can only go ten mile per hour on; and there were fifty miles of this. So suffice to say that the day didn't get off to a great start.
When we finally made it into Haines we discovered that the rocks which had been dancing around in the engine doing the watusy had created a teeny tiny hole in the battery and allowed all the battery fluid to drain away leaving us with no power in car. So my hubby is running around Haines to get a battery, and yes running around as in physically running, its not that big of a town. We managed to get the last hotel room in town as it seems that the ferry that was supposed to leave ahead of ours had struck a rock in the water and well, was taking on water. Holy Titanic Batman, I was supposed to be taking a ferry the next day all the way to Seattle.
So hotel room was really tiny, and we have two very grouchy twins and the dog and cat are a bit uppity as well about being kenneled and held in the car. All the rooms on the floor in this hotel share two bathrooms so taking a long bath to relax was out of the question. Sleep seemed the optional thing to do.
Fast forwarding to the next morning and getting breakfast what do I order, you got it; an omelet. Was it runny you ask? Partially which explains the weirdness of the next part. We got on our ferry, no holes in this one. Got to our cabin and got the kids settled down. The captain comes on to announce that the stops at the ports would be exceedingly brief as the staff was on the verge of striking and he was afraid that if they stayed to long in any port then the crew might sneak off start striking and leave everyone stranded. Well lets just say that is not what anyone wants to hear. So we ate our own food that we had brought for the journey as the food prices on the ferry were, lets just say this side of highway robbery. We finally got relaxed enough to go to sleep when another announcement came overhead. The chief porter was asking for the owner of the jeep wagoneer with Alaska plates that matched ours to please come to the porters desk. Turns out our springer spaniel was more intelligent then we thought. We had let him out of his kennel as he had to stay in the car for the trip. However the dog apparently got sea sick. He pawed the window down, jumped out, barfed, and then sat nicely by the car waiting for someone to let him back in. Poor dog. Well at least he did not run off through the decks.
Well in the course of the trip down to Seattle my husband had began to notice that every time I ordered an omelet and it was runny bad things happened. He asked me very nicely if I would consent to ordering pancakes or waffles or anything else for a little while. Well I did and then I didn't and that is another story for another day.
Atypical Life in AL
Omelets are the eggy omen of doom on many of my trips. Lets get this straight before the egg industry comes after me, I love eggs particularly when they are scrambled up into a concoction known in the US as a Denver omelet; think cheese, ham, onions, peppers, with salt, pepper, and garlic as the seasonings. I swoon when I get to eat a truly well cooked version of theses. But I digress. Omelets can, depending upon how they come to my table give clues to how that days adventure will turn out.
Yes I know that you think that I have gone off the deep end but really its true, no really this has happened multiple times.
The first time that it became noticed was when we were driving from Anchorage Alaska to San Antonio Texas, the Air Force having a sense of humor and all, it was August and the hottest time of the year to do this. In the Jeep Grand Wagoneer that looked like it had seen better days(cause it had) was me, my hubby, and our 6 month old twins plus the dog and the cat. Yeah that already had the earmarks of a trip to hell written all over it.
We had made it to Destruction Bay in Canada and stopped for the night. In the morning I ordered an omelet for breakfast. No problem the food was hot and served quickly, great wait staff. However the inside of my omelet was runny. I don't like runny eggs in anyway shape or form. Nope. So I ate the omelet cause one, I am polite and don't send food back unless a cook really screws it up and two, I was very hungry. Then no more than two hours out on the road we hit this lovely little stretch of road. The government of Canada had thoughtfully put up a sign stating they were doing road construction for the next 50 miles on the road leading to Haines Alaska (no seriously to get to parts of Alaska you have to first drive through a part of Canada). What the sign should have said is there is no road and you need to follow the orange markers that we have left for you to find like a treasure hunt. The so called road was filled with not just rocks but rocks the size of small boulders, there were holes that could have swallowed smaller cars. It was the type of road that you can only go ten mile per hour on; and there were fifty miles of this. So suffice to say that the day didn't get off to a great start.
When we finally made it into Haines we discovered that the rocks which had been dancing around in the engine doing the watusy had created a teeny tiny hole in the battery and allowed all the battery fluid to drain away leaving us with no power in car. So my hubby is running around Haines to get a battery, and yes running around as in physically running, its not that big of a town. We managed to get the last hotel room in town as it seems that the ferry that was supposed to leave ahead of ours had struck a rock in the water and well, was taking on water. Holy Titanic Batman, I was supposed to be taking a ferry the next day all the way to Seattle.
So hotel room was really tiny, and we have two very grouchy twins and the dog and cat are a bit uppity as well about being kenneled and held in the car. All the rooms on the floor in this hotel share two bathrooms so taking a long bath to relax was out of the question. Sleep seemed the optional thing to do.
Fast forwarding to the next morning and getting breakfast what do I order, you got it; an omelet. Was it runny you ask? Partially which explains the weirdness of the next part. We got on our ferry, no holes in this one. Got to our cabin and got the kids settled down. The captain comes on to announce that the stops at the ports would be exceedingly brief as the staff was on the verge of striking and he was afraid that if they stayed to long in any port then the crew might sneak off start striking and leave everyone stranded. Well lets just say that is not what anyone wants to hear. So we ate our own food that we had brought for the journey as the food prices on the ferry were, lets just say this side of highway robbery. We finally got relaxed enough to go to sleep when another announcement came overhead. The chief porter was asking for the owner of the jeep wagoneer with Alaska plates that matched ours to please come to the porters desk. Turns out our springer spaniel was more intelligent then we thought. We had let him out of his kennel as he had to stay in the car for the trip. However the dog apparently got sea sick. He pawed the window down, jumped out, barfed, and then sat nicely by the car waiting for someone to let him back in. Poor dog. Well at least he did not run off through the decks.
Well in the course of the trip down to Seattle my husband had began to notice that every time I ordered an omelet and it was runny bad things happened. He asked me very nicely if I would consent to ordering pancakes or waffles or anything else for a little while. Well I did and then I didn't and that is another story for another day.
Atypical Life in AL
Monday, April 23, 2012
Eight legged reasons why I don't like bugs.
Ok so a few years ago; well actually a number of years ago the USAF decided to show me that it had a perverted sense of humor and shipped us off to Texas. So you might say, hey San Antonio isn't too bad. I am here to beg to differ with you.
Just so you understand something I have lived most of my life in a state that is well frozen for a goodly portion of the year and anything over 75 degrees is hot to me. But more importantly it does not have large pugilistic insects.
I am not a fan of things that crawl around outside and are not furry little animals; I hate snakes, bugs of almost any kind and if a spider is present I will make it known that it is there by announcing so at the top of my lungs with a most unladylike like screech.
Texas showed me that bugs can and will fight you for dominance in your own home. I remember when the Spaz was just a little baby and I was taking a bath with her and a totally huge and gross something or other crawled out of the overflow drain on the tub and decided it was its turn for the bath. I screamed like I was in a cheaply made horror film and the hubs comes running up the stairs thinking I have dropped the baby. Nope I am standing literally in the corner of the tub with her in my arms trying to levitate myself out of that tub. Any bug that; one can come up through the drain and two swim around and leave a wake behind it in the water is a big bug.
What does the hubs do? He laughs at me and grabs a cup to scoop up the bug. He asks me what to do with it and I told him to flush it down the toilet as then it might think it was at a water park going for a ride. I had nightmares about this thing it was about two inches long and little antennae and dude it wanted the tub.
I was also introduced to scorpions during our little stint in Texas. It does not give you any piece of mind to see the guys walking across the ceiling of your house. Nope no way no how, I was turned into a mushy squeaky bowl of frightened jelly. I am very deadly allergic to bees and the docs could not say if I would have any reactions to those guys so they were left alone by me. A friend in Texas use to use the ones on his ceiling to practice throwing darts at. I am pretty sure Raid was not going to kill these things.
Ants were another reason and all I have to say is fire ants. If you have ever been bitten by these things you know what I mean. Short of setting fire to their mounds or drowning them out the best you could do was watch where you walked.
Granted I liked the sound of crickets at night but man cicadas were loud, like jet engine roaring loud. Those things could wake the dead if they really tried.
And then there were spiders. I. DON'T. DO. SPIDERS. Ever I mean I would rather annihilate the little things before they can get to me. And Texas had super sized one. These guys would waltz in to your house and say hi to you as they passed. They were quite fond of walking around in the dark and loved to crawl over people and elicit screams of terror out of me. Not to mention some of the buggers were poisonous. Yeah, not. I don't want to share my house with things that can bite me and do evil things to me. Yes I know spiders eat other bugs at least some do but really I don't want them around me.
Finally we got moved back to Anchorage. YEAH Happy dance time. Really we don't have many bugs up here. Yes the mosquitoes can probably carry off small animals but you can wear enough deep woods off to quell the little buggers. However; there are still spiders and I still won't share my house with them. The other day I was in my garage and was getting food out of the freezer. You know a nice routine type of task in a routine type of place. There are no bugs in my garage because it is the end of winter and things haven't thawed out enough. As I was standing there a large spider merrily did the waltz across my bare feet. Well needless to say there was a very loud scream that shook the rafters. When a spider is large enough that you can tell that it was hairy, its big enough. I slammed the door shut and ran into the house. Now little miss who is almost three was looking at me like I was insane. I perched on the couch with my feet underneath me and called the Boy. Why I called him I don't know. He is in Fairbanks; its not like he was going to be able to do anything for me.
So as he is talking me down out of hysteria he casually mentions what did I think the spider was living off of. Now bear with me and you will see why my mind is, well, a little different from most people. Normally spiders build webs and catch bugs to eat. Well there were no other bugs in that garage. So that meant one of two things to me. One, either the spider was building a web to catch larger prey like shrews or the dog or two, it was eating other spiders. AUGGGGHHH It's a cannibal spider. Seriously think about it that is what it was most likely eating. EW EW EW I don't do cannibal spiders in my house. Problem is that spider trotted off so fast that I was unable to stomp on him.
However I am armed with hairspray to deal with him. Yup hairspray; it clogs up their little exoskeletons and then they suffocate. I told you, I don't do spiders. So now I am waiting for that guy to show up, and unless he is wearing a little gas mask he is going to be toast.
Atypical Life in AK
Just so you understand something I have lived most of my life in a state that is well frozen for a goodly portion of the year and anything over 75 degrees is hot to me. But more importantly it does not have large pugilistic insects.
I am not a fan of things that crawl around outside and are not furry little animals; I hate snakes, bugs of almost any kind and if a spider is present I will make it known that it is there by announcing so at the top of my lungs with a most unladylike like screech.
Texas showed me that bugs can and will fight you for dominance in your own home. I remember when the Spaz was just a little baby and I was taking a bath with her and a totally huge and gross something or other crawled out of the overflow drain on the tub and decided it was its turn for the bath. I screamed like I was in a cheaply made horror film and the hubs comes running up the stairs thinking I have dropped the baby. Nope I am standing literally in the corner of the tub with her in my arms trying to levitate myself out of that tub. Any bug that; one can come up through the drain and two swim around and leave a wake behind it in the water is a big bug.
What does the hubs do? He laughs at me and grabs a cup to scoop up the bug. He asks me what to do with it and I told him to flush it down the toilet as then it might think it was at a water park going for a ride. I had nightmares about this thing it was about two inches long and little antennae and dude it wanted the tub.
I was also introduced to scorpions during our little stint in Texas. It does not give you any piece of mind to see the guys walking across the ceiling of your house. Nope no way no how, I was turned into a mushy squeaky bowl of frightened jelly. I am very deadly allergic to bees and the docs could not say if I would have any reactions to those guys so they were left alone by me. A friend in Texas use to use the ones on his ceiling to practice throwing darts at. I am pretty sure Raid was not going to kill these things.
Ants were another reason and all I have to say is fire ants. If you have ever been bitten by these things you know what I mean. Short of setting fire to their mounds or drowning them out the best you could do was watch where you walked.
Granted I liked the sound of crickets at night but man cicadas were loud, like jet engine roaring loud. Those things could wake the dead if they really tried.
And then there were spiders. I. DON'T. DO. SPIDERS. Ever I mean I would rather annihilate the little things before they can get to me. And Texas had super sized one. These guys would waltz in to your house and say hi to you as they passed. They were quite fond of walking around in the dark and loved to crawl over people and elicit screams of terror out of me. Not to mention some of the buggers were poisonous. Yeah, not. I don't want to share my house with things that can bite me and do evil things to me. Yes I know spiders eat other bugs at least some do but really I don't want them around me.
Finally we got moved back to Anchorage. YEAH Happy dance time. Really we don't have many bugs up here. Yes the mosquitoes can probably carry off small animals but you can wear enough deep woods off to quell the little buggers. However; there are still spiders and I still won't share my house with them. The other day I was in my garage and was getting food out of the freezer. You know a nice routine type of task in a routine type of place. There are no bugs in my garage because it is the end of winter and things haven't thawed out enough. As I was standing there a large spider merrily did the waltz across my bare feet. Well needless to say there was a very loud scream that shook the rafters. When a spider is large enough that you can tell that it was hairy, its big enough. I slammed the door shut and ran into the house. Now little miss who is almost three was looking at me like I was insane. I perched on the couch with my feet underneath me and called the Boy. Why I called him I don't know. He is in Fairbanks; its not like he was going to be able to do anything for me.
So as he is talking me down out of hysteria he casually mentions what did I think the spider was living off of. Now bear with me and you will see why my mind is, well, a little different from most people. Normally spiders build webs and catch bugs to eat. Well there were no other bugs in that garage. So that meant one of two things to me. One, either the spider was building a web to catch larger prey like shrews or the dog or two, it was eating other spiders. AUGGGGHHH It's a cannibal spider. Seriously think about it that is what it was most likely eating. EW EW EW I don't do cannibal spiders in my house. Problem is that spider trotted off so fast that I was unable to stomp on him.
However I am armed with hairspray to deal with him. Yup hairspray; it clogs up their little exoskeletons and then they suffocate. I told you, I don't do spiders. So now I am waiting for that guy to show up, and unless he is wearing a little gas mask he is going to be toast.
Atypical Life in AK
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